I find it a little hard to write this. I don't like to open up my heart to the vulnerability of my insecurities, but as I was evaluating some of the issues that I was dealing with last night I was reminded that I am not defined by this world's standards or views of me.
You know that feeling of feeling 'second best' or like you tried your best, but it just wasn't good enough? What a lie those things are, but they are such real feelings for so many of us. Even as I enter into my later 20s I still deal with these insecurities that have been lingering with me since middle school. Even though I am becoming a mother, I am a wife, I still feel like I am not good enough for some of the blessings in my life. As if my self isn't worth a life full of greatness.
I laugh even as I write this as I am a mentor to many young college aged girls and I tell them all the time how worthy they are of love and greatness. That they are worth the life that God has in store for them, so then why can 1 little thing happen to me and I find myself questioning my own worthiness of greatness.
God did not intend for us to live a life that is filled with negativity and lies. That is what the devil has in store for us--for the thief comes in the night to steal, but GOD, He came to give us LIFE and life to the FULLEST!
I want that life. I want the life that is so filled with God's presence that I know where my security lives. I know who I am in the eyes of my Creator. I know that I am seen through the eyes of Grace and not the eyes of judgement or condemnation.
So how do we get there? How do we get to the point in our lives where we are able to find our security in our Maker. Well it starts with acceptance. Acceptance that no matter what we do, we are not going to make ourselves worthy on our own. It's acceptance of the gift that Christ gave us on the cross. The gift that FREED us from death. The gift that gave us LIFE!
It's not an easy journey, it requires dedication and sacrifice. But that's what Christ gave us when he came to earth and if we learned anything from His life, it's that hard work and dedication pays off. Let us focus on what is unseen, not what is seen--as what is seen is fleeting, but what is unseen is eternal.
I unfortunately will not be able to let go of my deep insecurities overnight, but with the acceptance of God's grace and love, I will be able to begin to find my true security and full life in our One True God.
Thank you Lord for that gift, may we begin the journey of accepting it. We Love You.
